THE YEAR OF THE COCK

Time to go big! After all that monkey business in 2016, I decided to kick 2017 off by leaving the fog of London for Thailand’s warm and tender embrace. Then having established myself in the horribly hip haven of Soi 11, I made my annual pilgrimage to see the little old lady in Chinatown where I buy my ginseng. She informed me that the 4714th year in the Chinese calendar is considered the Year of the Cockerel is metal in essence and relates to gold, gems and jewelry.

A Year of Bling no less… a time that beckons luxury, beauty, prosperity and abundance.  Now I’m up  for some of that! My intuition says that 2017 will be a year to crow about with SxSW, Cannes and my new VR projects all lined up (and who couldn’t use an alternate reality right now). Bangkok aka the Big Mango got off to a splendid start with some quality face time with a favourite client: a hot shot producer and all round class act. As a TVC treatment ghostwriter, the only drawback of having A list clientele is that I can’t name drop but if I did, you’d be impressed. He gave me his macro view of how the industry is migrating from 30′ to two minute web films and his approach on the secrets of viral. Stay tuned for all that in another post. We talked over some TVC treatment super hacks that build hot cognition fast and the difference pitching and selling. Pro tip: in a pitch, you don’t need to worry about the long term relationship. You’ve got one shot so don’t waste time trying to ingratiate yourself to the client. Rather hit them repeatedly with why they’ll be in a world of pain if they don’t pick you for the job… confidence creates confidence. I always make the effort to meet my clients face to face as the vast majority are very charming, talented and delightful people. About once a year I run into one that I’d happily send on a package tour to Syria but they’re rare as hens’ teeth. Working with production houses is so much more civilised than the ferocious ego battle fear fests of adland. Now, no one ever dies in advertising we use to say (except in Japan but let’s not go there)  but not so in other professions. One of the first people on my catch up list was the formidable Colonel Mike, former USAF fighter pilots who flew with the Ravens ‘Fly ’til you Die’ squadron during the secret US war in Laos. He was shot down, captured and tortured for two years before he made it back to the US. He’s one tough old bastard and a great friend. Whenever I find myself referring to lengthy pre pros as ‘sheer torture’ or client’s talking about ‘pain points’, I’m reminded of the Colonel and thank my lucky stars I’ve never had to actually fight for the freedom that we all take for granted.  Next up, another old chum,  conflict photographer par extraordiare, the once and only Mr Roger Arnold. I lived in Bangkok for 5 years, 1997 – 2000 as creative director at JWT on Thai International and Sunsilk and from 2007 – 2009 in a new incarnation as an international art dealer and owner of the Gallery of European Art. That was a time when I did a lot of business with Russians (and still do though now in a very different capacity). Roger’s super well connected. He was one of the only Western jounalists to interview Viktor Bout, the guy who Nick Cage played in LORD OF WAR with one of most explosive opening title sequences ever. We traded war stories, his far better than mine as he does actually go to war. Anyways as I was regaling him about my last month in Moscow in September 2015 he asked me if I’d seen the Stop a Douchebag guys. They’re a Russian youth movement that attempts to enforce the traffic regulations in Russia. A splinter group of Vlad Putin’s youth movement, they do not fight for the law. They delight in asking people to think about the rights and convenience of others regardless of whether there is a police officer near them or not. Powerful viral political action – judge for yourself. It all made me miss Moscow and I’m planning a trip back in Q3. Kudos to BBDO Moscow who have kept me in business throughout the crash of the rouble.  Unlike most agencies 90% of all their TVC’s are made by them instead of foreign adaptions so commonplace with the other shops. So when I see Nikolay, Vladlena and Natalia at Cannes, expect the VIP treatment – the Tsarskaya is on me. Арте́льный горшо́к гу́ще кипи́т!