Ghost in Cannes  

GODDAMMIT! I almost met Sylvester Stallone…ALMOST!!!… but alas it was not to be. Sly was on the yacht of my old comrade in arms Andy Carroll (shout out to Soundfly and the Elements) friends and we sat in the sumptuous Gastons planning an amphibious assault but that night Rocky did not materialize. Such is life – actually it would be difficult to accept an inferior spot to those vessels chartered by the Daily Mail or News UK. The two newspaper boats boasted central berths in the glittering harbour and News UK had flown in man band Take That for an intimate onboard gig – a piece of A-list chutzpah straight out of the vintage Saatchis old bag of tricks. However I can’t see my old master, affectionately remembered as the Dark Lord aka Sir Martin approving that expense again.  Then as the sun sank on La Croisette, the bottles of rose grew alarmingly in size, from magnums to methuselahs, with sparkly fireworks beginning to accompany the opening of each new bottle, and ever more impassioned monologues predominating. After the usual trawl of beach parties, it was pole position at the Carlton Bar instead and go completely abfab for a rose infused frezny of boozing, schmoozing and from what I could see from the balcony plenty of canoodling.

I’d scored an amazing place on Airbnb for sixty euros a night (more proof that God loves me and wants me to be happy) that was five minutes from La Gavaroche. For me, most remarkable event this year was the Brexit decision at the end of the week along with some very unexpected Lions winners. No surprise that the vibe was that VR is the next big thing. Maison Samsung featured a VR surfing experience on the roof and a super-secret second floor experience which apparently had some distinctly thematic help that Charlie Sheen may have phoned in. Then the New York Times was a surprise big winner of the week, earning double Grand Prix for its virtual reality initiatives as The Times VR platform itself claimed the top prize in Mobile before storming the Entertainment Lions and grabbing the Grand Prix for its VR experience “The Displaced,” which took viewers into the lives of refugee children pushed from their native countries. Now I’m a fairly relaxed these days with my wild years behind me, so I normally eschew the pharmacologically enhanced immensity and intensity of back-to-back-to-back meetings, full contact drinking and furious politicking. I had a few clients that wanted to catch up (no names, no pack drill – a good treatment writer never tells) and for the rest I loaded up on business cards and hung out at the Carlton Beach and the usual parties. I wanted to give the biz dev a rest so I could more time on the work. But it wasn’t all sunshine and rosé. Naturally there was more than the usual level of scamminess. While this isn’t the first time there’s been some controversy over work that won an award, and every year someone gripes about ads that only ran once in Uzbekistan in Boy Scout Weekly just so it could be submitted. This year was no exception, but two entries found themselves in the merde. Early in the week, Apple pulled an app, I Sea, from iTunes not long before it won a Bronze Lion in the Promo and Activation category. The app, created by Grey Singapore, purported to locate and help rescue refugee boats by providing real-time satellite images of the Mediterranean Sea where there might be a boat. It was initially flagged by users who tested the app and found it to not be functional, and Apple later removed it. Whoops! After coming under fire, the agency said that the app was still in its testing phase, and on Thursday Cannes said in a release that it was reviewing it “after the veracity of the app was brought into question.” Then BBDO pulled its Brazilian Bayer work after accusations of being sexist, won a Bronze Lion and Bayer said that the agency ran the ad on a limited basis so that it would be eligible for submission into Cannes. All shits and giggles as they say down under. I had marvellous time and almost a bit too marvellous. I wrote this post in the last night and thought I’d accidentally trashed it until it turned up just now in my other inbox… curiouser and curiouser. I could go on but really and truly if you wanna find out what happened then the best buzz is here. Now I have total withdrawals from the R&R two weeks afterwards that I spent in the Riviera and feel the urge to go and gorge on oysters. In London, that means only one thing – a trip down to Piccadilly and lunch in Wilton’s… the most famous oyster place. Bon appetit!